Friday, June 20, 2008

Chuck Norris Facts


Greg stumbled upon this website and we got a big kick out of it and wanted to share...for more go to chucknorrisfacts.com

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.


Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.


Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.


Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

3 comments:

Ali-kat said...

Hilarious! I read some to hubby.

Rich said...

hahaha, i love when these came out. Supposedly, these jokes were half of the chat that went on in some World of Worldcraft servers.

hard to choose a favorite, but hilarious. Reminds me of the Your momma jokes. I never really thought Chuck Norris was too great, which make these all the more funny I guess.

Juli said...

That is sooo funny!! I am going to make John read that b/c we are always laughing about CHUCK NORRIS!! Thanks for that!!